Who in the Heck is "Bear Rabbit?"

This is a little vignette that I originally wrote on January 28, 2012. I've decided to share it here on my blog:


This picture was drawn several months ago by a friend of mine. She turned four years old last week. I was talking to her the day after her birthday when she abruptly mentioned to me that her daddy was in jail. After talking to that little girl and listening to her various thoughts--both of love for her father and of confusion as to why he was taken away from her to a strange place--I did a lot of thinking of my own. There is something both honorable and sacred about the heart of a child which can lay out her thoughts and vulnerabilities so sincerely...something as simple and unostentatious as a drawing of a roly-poly blue bear and a tiny half-formed rabbit.

 

 

A Safe Place for Abused Kids

I saw this post on the news feed of a local news outlet and felt that I needed to share it. I wish that there were more places like this around, because the need is really greater than we know:


http://www.mywabashvalley.com/news/a-safe-place-for-abused-kids

Thank you!

I would like to thank all of my fellow Ride Across Indiana cyclists and support people who encouraged me on the way, especially Chloe and Diana. Also, special thanks to my aunt and uncle Kim and Bob for meeting me in Richmond and taking me home. Even though it was an exhausting ride, I hope that it helped to remind people of the plight of many young people in our society. My challenge to myself now is not to become complacent and at ease, but to continue doing what I should do to help children every day of the year. I would encourage those of you who have a desire to help children to do the same. Whether it's by volunteering at a youth center or school, becoming a mentor, putting together lunch backpacks together for children, or devoting a set time every day to pray for our youth, there are many things that we can do to help the children in our communities. As Christ said, "Let the children come to me, and do not forbid them, for of such as these is the kingdom of Heaven."

Why I'm Riding Across Indiana on a Children's Bicycle

My name is Jack, and on July 11, 2015 I will be riding my bicycle from West Terre Haute, IN to Richmond, IN, effectively traversing the state from west to east. So will around 1,000 other people on that day, as they participate in the annual Ride Across INdiana (RAIN).

I’ve decided to do the ride differently this year. Instead of riding a lightweight road bike with lots of gears, I will be completing this ride on a 20" children's bicycle. My reason for doing this is to (hopefully) help raise awareness about the plight of many children in our country who have suffered and do suffer from abuse and maltreatment. I've made a few modifications to the bike in order to make the 160 mile trip possible to complete within the 14-hour timeframe (such as replacing the knobby tires with slick tires, putting in a longer seatpost so that I can pedal more efficiently, and replacing the original 16 tooth rear cog with a 13 tooth-cog to give myself a little more leverage). However, the fact still remains that I am riding a bicycle that was not designed for a person of my size, and I am riding it much farther than it is meant to be ridden.

The reason that I am doing this is that many children face a struggle every day. It's a struggle that's more difficult than riding a children's bicycle across the state. Their difficulties don't end when the day is over, when the month is over, or even when the year is over. For some of these children, the struggle won't even end once they grow into adults. They walk around as hurt people, carrying their childhood memories around like so much heavy baggage. They might not know whom they can trust in the world. They may have difficulty finding meaning in relationships because of what was done to them when they were children. They might have difficulty moving on with life. In a sense, they're still riding around on a 20" bicycle even though they're almost six feet tall. It's hard to get anywhere in life that way, but it all could have been avoided if someone had noticed and intervened.

I'm riding the children's bicycle as sort of a parable. It puts me at a disadvantage in getting across the state in a timely manner, but aren't all children at a disadvantage when compared to adults? They're physically smaller, and they often have fewer rights and few choices about where or how they live. They are at the mercy of adults who have the power to give them love and nurturing or to neglect and hurt them. Because they are still in the process of being socialized, they are easily misled by those who would exploit them for their own profit or pleasure. Children who suffer abuse regularly are at even more of a disadvantage than other children. They can hardly even learn much about the world around them because their guard is constantly up; they’re busy trying to survive, trying to figure out how to avoid the abuse (or at least how to deaden the pain). What’s worse, many (but not all) of them grow up to abuse their own children. If others do not intervene and help break the cycle of abuse, it can continue for many generations.

I’m riding on a girls’ bicycle, so I remember that girls are sometimes more vulnerable to abuse, especially sexual abuse. Little girls are often taught to please others and to be polite, traits which abusers will use to their advantage. I once heard a statistic that 1/3 of all girls will suffer some form of sexual abuse before age eighteen. It’s a sad statistic, but one that we shouldn’t ignore just because it’s uncomfortable to talk about. Boys aren’t immune to sexual abuse either; because of feelings of shame, they often stay silent about such abuse for years. We have to protect them from this abuse, because they are not yet able to help themselves.

That’s why I’m doing this ride. I have no ulterior motive and I’m not trying to make any kind of political statement, other than that we need to do a better job as a society of protecting children. I’m not preaching to others from a pulpit, but rather reminding myself of the suffering of children. It’s a message that I will surely feel in my body by the end of the day.

But putting an end to child abuse doesn’t mean hunting down a bogeyman, it means coming alongside and helping. Many abusers don’t intend to abuse children, and very few of them are psychopaths who have no conscience. Many have not had a good example of how to properly care for children, and some may lash out against a child in a moment of extreme stress. Some might need another adult to coach them in how to treat children, or to intervene when they do go too far. Sometimes, in order to help children, we will have to report a suspicion of abuse to the authorities. While this is never an easy thing to do, we must remember that abuse will continue as long as good people ignore it.

(If you are the one who finds yourself on your last nerve with a child, or if you feel like lashing out at a child in anger, this does not make you a bad person. Just because you may have struck a child in anger once does not mean that you are doomed to do so again. Remove yourself from the child's presence until you are able to control yourself. If you find yourself tempted to strike or berate a child on a regular basis, then find someone who can help you deal with your anger).

Just being involved with the children in your life is a good way to ensure their well-being. These might be your own children, nieces or nephews, or children from your local church or Head Start Center. The more time that you spend with a child, the better able you are to attend to his/her well-being. Sometimes a child will speak openly about the child’s hurts and struggles if only there is an adult around who has time to listen. Other times, the signs of abuse will be more subtle and might even be counterproductive. For example, some children might respond to abuse through troublesome acting-out behaviors that tend to alienate other adults. Take the time to educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of child abuse.

There is a saying in the military that one should “trust, but verify.” This is always a good policy when it comes to our children. Many children are abused by those who misuse the trust that others place in them to take care of their children. The abuser might be a teacher, a babysitter, a minister, or even a family member. It doesn’t hurt to drop in unexpectedly when someone is taking care of your children; no one who truly cares about children should object just because you’re checking up on what they’re doing. Many abusers seem to be all-around nice guys on the surface; you can’t tell if someone is a child abuser just by looking at him/her.

I have posted below a few links to some groups that I believe are doing good things for children. I don’t have a financial interest in any of them, but I’m posting the links because I believe that you will be blessed in finding out what these groups have to offer.

www.childhelp.org: Child Help is a charity that provides resources to combat child abuse such prevention, intervention, and treatment programs for children who have suffered abuse. There are several Child Help villages across the United States where children who have suffered abuse can find a safe haven on their way to healing.

http://www.fredrogers.org/: Formerly known as Family Communications, the Fred Rogers Company is the brainchild of late children’s television host and expert on child development, Fred Rogers. They provide many resources for parents and professionals for meeting the developmental needs of young children.

http://childtrauma.org/: The Child Trauma Academy was established by Dr. Bruce Perry, an eminent child psychiatrist and researcher. Dr. Perry has done extensive research on the long-lasting and extensive negative effects that abuse and deprivation have on a child’s developing brain He has taken a stand for children by educating parents and professionals about the importance of providing nurturing environments for children from the very first days of life. I would highly recommend his two books: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog and Born for Love.

http://www.archindy.org/cc/ryves/: Ryves Youth Center in Terre Haute has been a beacon of hope for children in the Wabash Valley since 1982. I have seen the difference that this youth center has made in the lives of many children through its preschool and after-school program. The after-school program provides hot meals, help with schoolwork, and a safe place to play after school. Many of these children are from low-income families and would have nowhere else to go otherwise. If you don’t live in Terre Haute I would encourage you to find and stand beside some organization in your area that does great work in helping children.

http://www.missingkids.org/home: The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children is a national clearinghouse for information about endangered and missing children. Their website has a wealth of information for parents and professionals about child safety. There is a lot of good information here to educate yourself about the real dangers that children face.